Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I was born a flashing thought in his mind,

He ignored me for a while but I was persistent

Once he became aware of me, he kept me close

In the very center of what he defined as love

I would come out and kiss him while he dreamed

or when his distraction was severe,

I would be free to roam inside his mind and play with his thoughts;

He let me, and I felt joy

I know he needed me and I would blush thinking it

“Yes,” I am sure of it;

I know I needed him too

It was a Friday morning when he rose and ignored my welcomes

Seating on his old chair, he leaned over his desk;

That morning, he began to put me down in words

With mixed emotions, he broke me

and moved me in ways I did not know nor had ever known before

One by one, my pieces fell and others grew

As I was dismembered with pen and paper,

I lost so much, but I gained him too

He melted with me and joined me like life is to love and do

‘Didn’t I want it?’ I asked myself,

as the new me began to yearn for freedom and other desires

‘Yes, I did!’ I answered and smiled with mischievous eyes

He went on for days until one night I changed completely for him

and he changed for me, in me

My love

I never saw him again

the next morning a foxy breeze stopped by the window

“Do you want a ride?”

I was tempted, my new hunger burned in me and pleaded: ‘Go!’

So I asked the breeze to please take me

and I was carried away on the wind’s shoulders

I did not resists nor did I ever said when I would return

If I would ever return;

In my new form, I felt excitement as I floundered initially,

but as many hands touched me and passed me around,

as their voices spoke with mine

The new horizons intoxicated me and possessed me

I did not wish to go back anymore

“Do you miss him?” The birds asked one day

I could not say; I was drunk with many new loves in so many homes

I had hopes and visions of much more

So I let myself forget and I moved further from his truths

Hugged and loved for what was first his thoughts and now my words,

I roamed like a spirit sensing and wanting it all

Into foreign lands I went, I learned languages, I grew

I also visited strange places,

where I was asked to speak in shadowed gatherings

where I would be cursed and damned one instant

only to be hugged and gently picked up by another soul

I missed him less and less until his memory was nothing to me

“Do you want him back? Should I carry you back?” the breezed asked one day

“No!” I said, “I do not want to go!”

How much I remembered him?, I did not say nor did I want to know,

In this manner, the weeks became months and more,

After all, ‘Wasn’t he already in me?’ I proved my point

As people continued to praise me, I felt loved beyond any day with him

I was extolled and cherished and showered with gold

Until I could not explain why did I ever want to stay with him,

much less, to be from him

In time, I took home in great libraries

and my name became well known

From lecture halls and conference to coffee houses, I was called

as all desired to be my home and host my words

I had grown beyond and had become more than ever before

Many more years passed,

Saw the world’s pain and hurt everyday

the offers kept coming and I kept speaking with my own voice

At rare times, I still wondered why I left him

I know he loved me, maybe I did too, it was difficult to know

He existed little in me, ‘Sorry…but you are no more,’ I thought,

and my many voices always excluded him from my words

One dry day, I spoke at a mass burial, a eulogy for forgotten souls;

for the poor homeless found death on the streets,

on the outskirts of towns, outside bars, starved by life,

Those with nothing left and none that cared

Bodies rolling down into a burning hole, cheerless sight, but I spoke

Until one naked body, wrapped in a translucent death cloth, rolled down,

down into a burning shallow hole,

where the flames embraced and unwrapped and consumed,

and for an instant showing a man’s face

and I cried;

I cried as I have never done before,

as black ink began blurring my words

I felt the world in me dissolved, destroyed

as the trees standing around me were ghastly uprooted to know

“Get away, you fools, can’t you see?” I screamed

but only the birds heard as my page flapped in a stranger’s hands

“Do you want to return?” I heard the damned breeze say

“Yes! Please, take me into him” I yelled as hard as I could,

but my screams became applauds ‘Brava!, Brava!’

That’s what my words meant;

I was stopped from saying more,

The ink ran over the page

and I raged to rip myself from it all to became his tombstone

My page flapped violently with the sudden gusts,

but I was bound and dragged away to be locked away in my golden cage,

The bodies’ smoke caressed my pain as I stood frozen in time

Because I was a treasure known and loved by all

and these poor souls, burning in that small hole,

shamed, wrapped, nude, with nothing to show,

did not deserve more than a few of my words

as they had died wretched, lost,

as he had died unknown to all,

hopelessly wandering,

searching to regain what he lost

missing my kisses in his thoughts

mistrusted, even a fool

dreaming of my voice,

abandoned,

alone,

unloved,

burning in that shallow hole

My love…

Dreaming a poet’s life with every sigh

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