I like your comment.
You propose a self-balance, socially acceptable & theoretical perspective to human relationships. Still, in my opinion, it's no more correct than MaryBeth Gronek's view.
I'd dare to say that your approach is not achievable for many, if not most, unprepared couples, assuming that they even want to reach this bliss state of relationship-mindfulness.
The boundaries of "balance" are really ranges of changing behaviors, emotions, ideas, and personalities between the two persons. It's very difficult to achieve and maintain. That's why there's a "delusional" element to relationships, so individuals can Sacrifice & Trade valuable pieces of life in the quest for temporary relational-utopias and (for some) stay addicted to only pieces of the feeling that starts it all, love.